The Love Aquatic

Norman and I have loved each other since the day we met. He believes that he fell into my life entirely by chance, but I know it was a gift of fate. I had just moved into a new house in a new neighborhood and, although the apartment was everything I had hoped for, it was a lonely place in the summer. My new neighbors were an older couple who had three cats and no children; their names were Russell and Lillian. Russell liked to wear corduroy trousers and I could always hear him coming down the hall, swish-swish, swish-swish. The light in the hall shone off of his bald, shiny head as he held the door open for Lillian. Lillian in her voluminous, brightly-colored house dress and plastic shoes clumping into my foyer with a huge grin on her wrinkly face.

“Katharine, this is Norman.”

I felt my breath catch in my throat at the sight of him and my cheeks turned the same delicate shade as my pale sweater. I smiled, he stayed and here we are; happy and content. He is simple, so much less complicated than I. His big, gentle eyes melt my heart and we spend the evenings together, side by side; I read or write poetry and he contemplates the existence of a bigger reality. I have never felt so fulfilled.

Today though, Jackson brought to light certain behavior patterns in the life of my love that have me worried. Jackson lives in an apartment complex on the other side of town. I met him at work and we took turns making dinner once a week. Tonight was my night and we were chopping peppers, cucumbers, and tomatoes for the salad. I refuse to believe that Norman cares as little for me as Jackson tells me he does. I tried to convince both Jackson and myself that Norman and I had something special, something that brought us together and would keep us together.

“He gets excited when I come home and I know he is happy to see me,” I informed Jackson while he diced the tomatoes. “I can tell by the look on his face that he loves me.” I tossed a handful of lettuce into the wooden bowl on the counter defiantly.

Jackson looked at me out of the corner of his eye, “Katharine, goldfish have, like, a three-second memory. Not only is he not happy to see you, he doesn’t even remember who you are. Maybe you should get a dog.”

Copyright 2005 - Katharine A. Newell

Thanksgiving

I now have a reason to be thankful - she is here!

Questions

Why is it that when you look for something, it can't be found but the moment that you give it up, it appears before you, just within your reach? I don't understand and I am finally okay with that.

Musings2

I knew that we didn't see eye-to-eye on the important subjects. I guess that I was hoping that it wouldn't cause a rift in this friendship that has lasted years and meant so much to me. The thing of it is, I have finally realized that I am living in a dream-world. Tonight has shown me that, once again, I am alone. I knew I was expecting too much but I hoped that he would not be so stubbornly stupid, harmful to himself and others. All in the name of fun, saying over and over "I don't want to grow up." It was then that I realized that I have crossed over and he doesn't want to come. The adventure of growing up together has been taken from me. I have to go alone. I hope I don't get lost.

I miss you, Peter Pan.

ABC Jungle

It has been a long time since I have stumbled upon these abandoned and destitute members of the English family. Their once regal heads have been hung in shame as their meaningfulness has been replaced with working-class words. The feeling of power that once was felt by all as their sounds rolled smoothly over the tongue have been replaced with "like", "dude", and "cool". Let us return to them their dignity and allow them to again have a moment in the spotlight.

Prospicient - having foresight.
Chapfallen (or chopfallen) - dejected or dispirited.
Recusant - refusing to submit to authority; dissenting.
Insouciant - happily unconcerned; carefree; nonchalant.
Inveterate - firmly established; habitual.

If you forget them, it is not the end. Simply keep an open mind and make a comfy room for them to come and rest in for a while. They will reward you handsomely for that.

Theories on Life

Risk-taking, trust, and serendipity are key ingredients of joy. Without risk, nothing new ever happens. Without trust, fear creeps in. Without serendipity, there are no surprises.

-Rita Golden Gelman, author of Tales of a Female Nomad

Change

I looked in the mirror today and much to my surprise I realized that I have become exactly who I have always wanted to be.

Confidence

Many people lack it. It affects your decisions and can change the course of your life. It inspires those around you. It marks you as different, you stand out in a crowd. It boosts your self-esteem. Can it ever be over the top?

My family has given each other nicknames that inspire confidence. Today, my baby sister asked me to call her Joanna, Girl of Destiny.

What do you think?