My whole life, I have been looking for it. I have so badly wanted to feel that I belonged somewhere, anywhere. I talked to people who had lived their entire lives in the same town, they knew everyone and everyone knew them. Their houses were comfortable, old, and homey. They had friends, knew all the out-of-the-way places, they took each others sisters to the prom, were in their friend's weddings, raised kids next door to each other, and lived in community.
By the time I was sixteen, I had decided there was no point in ever even unpacking; another move was sure to be just around the corner so why bother? I was so envious of the other kids that lived on our street my heart would ache. They had been there for the past five years and in another five they would most likely still be there. They had solidarity.
And then I learned the truth. Home is a place where our soul is free to breathe. I talked to the kids that I envied and I realized that while I had a new bedroom every few years, they were jealous of something that I had - a stable family who loved me. No matter where we lived, no matter how many times we moved, my family was always there for me. We laughed and cried together (about everything), we planned and dreamed and hoped together. We made a space for each other to grow and change; we set each other free. They are my home and I take them with me wherever I go. I love them for that.
I am going home for Christmas.
me too, i'm going home for the christmas break too
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(we moved about 11 houses and 5 schools, now if i stay too long somewhere i start feeling the need to move - 'i have seen this, now what!?' feel )
yeah, the weird thing about that is that i am the same way. i really wanted that while i was growing up but now i am afraid that will happen to me and i will get bored. i know how you feel.
ReplyDelete"We made a space for each other to grow and change; we set each other free." You nailed the definition of "home" and "love" with this sentence! How blessed you are to know "home" with family. Some of us find "home" with friends like you!
ReplyDeleteLove you
susan
That was nice, Katharine. You sound like you had folks in the military...if so, I understand!
ReplyDeleteSo, how's the New York weather? Now that I'm in cold weather country, winter is an interesting topic.
chris, good to hear from you. winter is on the way. however, compared to what you are about to experience (are experiencing?) i really can't complain. thought of you actually in ethics class on wednesday, talking about alaska. you will have to fill us in, your eager audience here is waiting. :)
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